36 Weeks

I am in the countdown stretch of this pregnancy - which is/has been thrilling and terrifying - equally.

I am so excited to meet Amelia and love on our little girl. I am also EXTREMELY ready to be done with pregnancy, but I am also so anxious about mothering two small children...simultaneously. How will I do it? I lose my patience with one. I get frustrated with one. I lose sleep with one. I am so exhausted some days that I am not sure I will make it to nap time--with one. How am I going to handle two?

I know that on my own I cannot handle two. Luckily, the Lord's grace is sufficient. I just have to remember to lean into Him on those days when I feel like I am not enough - which is just about everyday.

Of course I also have days that are so joy-filled and wonderful that I cannot imagine how I got to be so lucky. And there will be double the joy on those days. I just need to keep reminding myself that I will have double the blessing on those days and that God will provide strength and endurance on the days that are not so wonderful.

So...36 weeks. I cannot believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. I am starting to feel sick and/or throw up most days again. :-( Sleep is also becoming very illusive. Here is a pic of what I look like at 36 weeks this pregnancy (and at 38 weeks with Claire):

36 weeks - Amelia

38 weeks - Claire

The doctor informed me today that I am 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. This was so exciting to hear. I never dilated or effaced with Claire, so I feel like I am making some very big progress. Of course, then my mother tells me that she was 90% effaced and almost 3 or 4 cm dilated with my brother...and they had to induce labor after she had gone two weeks over her due date...thanks a lot mom. ;-)

I have a very strong feeling that because Claire was a week early and because I am already showing signs of progression that little miss Amelia will be here sometime before her official due date. I have been having a ton of Braxton-Hicks contractions and have been feeling very anxious - which are both signs that labor is approaching. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

This is one of the hardest parts of pregnancy (especially for a type A, list-making, planner) -- not knowing exactly when, or what, or how anything will happen. I have officially checked off most of my to-do before baby list. So I take some comfort in knowing that I am pretty much ready whenever, but there are still a couple of things that I would really like to get done. Hopefully, I have at least a week to finish them. I guess we will find out.