Heat

Heat is a funny thing. It can warm you. It can burn you. It can be literal or figurative. 

It's almost officially summer and the daily temperature highs are increasing. The mornings and evenings no longer hold any lingering coolness. When I began running last fall it was still hot, but it was not middle of the summer hot. The evenings and mornings were starting to cool off and bring some relief. So that's when I ran. When you've not been consistently active for a while getting started is hard, but the coolness of the early morning air made it more bearable. Easier. 

At this point, I've been running consistently for almost ten months. It had become routine and natural to get up and run before starting the rest of my day. Then it started to get hot. I don't do well in the heat. It makes me wilt - both physically and mentally. I get heat migraines, my attitude deteriorates, I become extra cranky, and a little snappy. It isn't pretty. The heat is making it hard to run. I don't want to get up and go out into the hot. I don't want to run as fast. I don't want to run as far. I want to give up and quit. 

In addition to the climbing temps outside, it's also begun to feel very hot figuratively -  between politics, race relations, the Coronavirus, the economy, and the regular demands of everyday life - there is a lot of stress and pressure on all of us. I could list out all of the individual hard things I am dealing with - but couldn't we all? Each one of us is facing grief, hurt, uncertainty, disappointment, hardship, etc. So many fears, concerns, questions: How can we protect ourselves from a virus that we know so little about? Am I being safe? Is there more I could do? What will the new normal look like this fall? How can I advocate for my Black brothers and sisters? When will life feel less chaotic? Will life ever feel less chaotic? 

It's so easy to become overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions, feelings, and worry. It's so easy to quit. It takes zero thought or energy to stop doing something that is hard, but I am resolving to not give up. I am going to keep running. I am going to persevere. 

I may run a little slower, or I may not run as far, but I will not stop. I will not quit. I will keep fighting for my health and happiness. The same goes for the rest of it - Justice for all is important. Taking care of our planet is important. Loving our neighbor is important. Raising our children to be kind humans is important. These things are not easy, but they are worthwhile, so:

I am not giving up. 

I will continue to educate myself. I will continue to try and use my vote and my voice wisely and well. I will continue to learn about and understand the effects of systemic racism in our country and how I can help to create change. I will teach my children and lead by example. I will encourage those within my sphere of influence to be better and to do better. I will continue to pursue knowledge. I will continue to grow, to do my part, and to trust Jesus with the rest. 

The rising temperatures may slow my progress and I am sure I will have set backs. I know I'll be discouraged and it will affect my pace and my distance, but I am going to continue to run the race - despite the heat - both literally and figuratively.