The Fair

The County Fair was in town this week and we made sure to visit on $2 night.

The evening began hot and sweltering, but cooled down nicely once the sun started to go down. Our girls had a blast.

Jared ate deep fried oreos and the girls milked a plywood cow. How does it get more fun than that? 

We stayed out entirely too late, but we got to watch a pig race and the girls rode ponies. It was Amelia's first pony ride and she LOVED it. She was about to fall asleep until I plopped her on that pony. She giggled and squealed with delight. She was so proud of herself and it was adorable. 

Here is some photographic eidence of said fun (pics of the pony rides to follow):

One Year Old

Our second daughter just turned one. My baby is one. Children always seem to make time move more quickly, but the first year with our second went by like a flash of lightning. Here one second and gone the next.

With our first I was so excited about the big first birthday. It seemed like such an accomplishment to have made it through that first grueling year of parenthood. I am much more emotional and sentimental about this first birthday. Maybe it is because she might be our last baby. Or maybe because the more time goes by and the older my children get the more I realize how quickly it all passes.

We are having a Lego/Easter themed birthday party this year. I know when they get older they are going to want girly-themed parties (at least the oldest one is headed that direction), so I was trying to throw my husband a bone with the Lego theme. However, Easter is this coming Sunday, so all of the Easter stuff is out and on sale for the weekend, so there are going to be some Easter-ish activities at the birthday party too.

In other big news, we are trying to sell our house. Planning a birthday party, prepping for Easter, and keeping the house clean (with two children) for showings - which have been a little sparse - is a nightmare. I do not recommend it to anyone. I was really encouraged when we had five showings within four days the first week it went on the market, but we have not even had a nibble since. I am however really learning to just hand that situation over to God. If I spent my time fretting over it as much as I would have in the past I probably would have been hospitalized with an ulcer, stroke, heart attack, or all of the above by now.

And now I need to go tend to my children and clean the house some more. ; ) Here are some recent pics from my phone and a video of the girls sliding on #2's birthday:

New Year

I do not make New Years resolutions. I never really have and I probably never will. I have motivation issues as is - I don't really need to set myself up for failure at the beginning of every year. Don't get me wrong. I still set goals and deadlines and try to accomplish things throughout the year, but I don't feel the need to start each year off with a list of things I want to, but probably won't, accomplish

Last year was the kind of year that was so jam packed with planned and unplanned life events that at the end of it I was thinking, "has it really only been a year?"

My sister-in-law got married early in February (in Florida, so there was a lot of travel involved - see post here) and we welcomed a new uncle into our family. Just three short weeks later he died suddenly and  went to be with Jesus. It took me a long time to process Uncle Dave's death. I think in large part because I was so busy with life and had so much on my plate (birth of my second child and my own sister's wedding). However, I finally did sort through some of my thoughts and emotions regarding the loss of Uncle Dave and you can read about that here.

So those two events dominated February and March. Then in April we welcomed baby Amelia into the world which was super exciting and life changing. Life didn't slow down in May - I got to be my sister's Matron of Honor, while nursing a five week old, and herding my two-year-old who was, of course, the flower girl.

I guess you could say that we had a relaxing summer - in-so-far as there were not MAJOR life changes - but I was/am/will always be adjusting to life as a mother of two.

In October the girls and I went on a road trip, with my parents and grandmother, to Austin to visit our cousin for her 1st birthday.

With cousin Sutton in Austin, TX

At Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Travis' house (Ft. Worth)

Ft. Worth Zoo for "Boo at the Zoo"

I have never appreciated Jared more than on this trip. It was so hard to handle so much of the girls care all on my own. (How do single mom's do it?). We had a really great trip (except for the last 24-48 hours when some of our travelers had a seriously bad stomach bug), but I was SO thankful to get home to my husband.

Claire recovering after our trip to Austin.

 

Then in November we made a last minute trip to Orlando with Jared's parents to have Thanksgiving with Auntie Kate - who was going to be unable to come home during any of the holiday season. (We had such a good time on this trip - I need to post about it - probably).

Amelia's first Dumbo ride (she is sleeping)

Then in December it was my birthday and then Christmas. We had multiple Christmas celebrations with lots of friends and family. Plus my brother, his wife, and the girls' cousin Sutton came to town for a few days. It was a lot of fun.

Like I said - this all happened in the course of a year. Two weddings, a funeral, a new baby, a road trip, and a Disney vacation. Add on top of that just the normal, day-to-day stuff, plus potty training a toddler and you get a pretty crazy, whirl-wind year.

There are several things that I still need to document on the blog from last year (our Austin road trip, and our Thanksgiving in Orlando), but with the new year already underway and new adventures coming up I am not sure I will ever get caught up. C'est la vie.

Daddy and his girls cheering on the Hogs.

 Here is to another exciting year, but maybe without quite so much unexpected loss.

Claire using mommy's razor to "shave like daddy." (Don't worry it had a safety cover)

 

My sweet sleeping beauty - Amelia Jo.

Christmas

What a great Christmas season celebrating with all of our family. We had some Allen family Christmas celebrations and some Wright family celebrations. We even had our annual Malone - Wright White Elephant exchange. It was so fun to have Christmas with our cousin (Sutton) this year. And it was Amelia's first Christmas. So it was a very busy and very exciting holiday season. Here are some pictures:

 A little Christmas tree action.

 It was Amelia's first Christmas. :-)

The cousins all had matching pjs thanks to Aunt Ashley and Uncle David. However, getting a good pic of all of them in said matching pjs was next to impossible.The above pic was one of the two best I got - if that tells you anything. ;-)

To conclude our Wright Christmas celebrations we lit some lanterns that were leftover from my sister's May (2013) wedding. It was pretty fun and they looked beautiful rising up into the night sky.

Shredder Dave

I have been trying to write this post for almost ten months and I still don't really know what to say, or how to say it. There are no words, or at least no words I can find that seem to really fit, to sum up my feelings regarding your passing.

I will never forget the day I found out that Katie was dating someone who called himself "Shredder Dave." I thought it was such a weird name for a grown man to go by. I was pretty incredulous that this relationship was ever going to turn into anything substantial. However, Katie kept insisting that you were a keeper. And then I met you. And it all made sense. ;-) You were a heckuva guy David Adams. Self assured. Loyal. Generous and so kind. You were a friend to everyone you met. I remember my dad talking very fondly of you after just having spent a few short days getting to know you on our Disney trip.

I have definitely run the gamut of the grieving process. I have felt: shock , disbelief, anger, sadness, joy for you (Praising His name in His presence), and so much more. I grieve because I didn't get the chance to know you as well as I would have liked. I grieve because you were so young and just married. I grieve because my oldest daughter will not get to make silly faces with you again. I grieve because my youngest daughter will never have the chance to know you and make silly faces with you.

The crux of the issue is:

We miss you so much Uncle Dave. I miss you.

Will Claire remember you well enough to miss you? In some ways I hope that she will and in other ways I kind of hope she doesn't. I know that when she talks about "Aunt Kate's wedding" and "Uncle Dave" that it sort of breaks my heart. My heart breaks for her (even though she is too young to really understand), for Aunt Kate, and for myself.

I am so glad that your death was not a horrible, drawn out process. I am so glad that you are jamming out with Jesus. I am so glad to see your legacy building up our Savior in the lives of so many. But I also miss you. And I just needed to put that out there. You were missed all summer. You were missed at Thanksgiving. You were missed at Christmas. You will continually be missed by so many friends and loved ones that you left behind. And I am sad that you are gone, but I am so happy to know where you are and what you are getting to do. And I know that you are not sad anymore - sadness is reserved for the living.

Goodbye Shredder Dave.

Busy with the Babies

So I guess I am in a stage of life where my time is at a premium. There are husbands and babies, and family, and friends who all take up pieces of my days. And it all adds up to having very little time to write about what all is going on.

You know what though, I would rather have my days filled with those things (plenty to write about), but little time to do the actual writing than the other way around. :-) I live a very blessed life--even on the days that are crazy and make me want to pull all of my hair out--I am so very, very blessed.

So here are some pictures of our shenanigans lately:

Parched

I very much dislike it when my blog sits idle and empty. Writing is such a cathartic activity for me. Lately, however, life has just been beating me down. I have been feeling empty. Dry. Parched. And when I feel down it makes it very hard to write. (Honestly, it has been hard to do anything that makes me feel better.) It is especially difficult when I know that other people have the potential to read what I have written.

I definitely don't want to be that person who hides what is really going on and only shows the perfectly clean house, perfectly behaved children, perfect happy marriage, and perfectly put together self. I don't want to be a "Fakebooker." I want to be real, but exposing myself to that level of scrutiny is hard. It is hard for me to even admit to myself that I often don't behave rightly or think rightly when things are not going my way; let alone share it with the Internet.

So, the past few months life has been messy. Some days I have cooperated and let God's grace wash over and through me and I have handled things reasonably well. Most days, however, I have gotten frustrated, angry, short-tempered, sad, down and just plain ugly.

Having young children is such a reality check. As I was growing up I always knew I wanted a husband, children, a home--a family--of my own. I never thought about how hard having those things would be though.

Marriage is hard work. Motherhood is hard work. Probably the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Try to love my husband well and raise my children well.  They are the greatest gifts I could have ever received, but they take some serious effort. I don't get to do what I want, whenever I want to anymore. I don't get to think of myself first. Not if I want to raise God-fearing, socially acceptable children and have a successful marriage. Sure if I wanted wild, lunatic monkeys for children, or a one-way ticket to divorce court--then I could be as selfish and self-serving as I wanted. Is it really so much to ask that they take a nap at the same time once during the day? I mean honestly, what I would give for an hour of alone "me" time.

My husband was and is such a blessing in my life (as are my children), but he is also very different from me. He does things in a different way. He thinks about the world in a different way. He has his own unique perspective. And very often those ways of thinking and doing life are different from (and even conflict with) my own. Then we threw two children into the mix (are we crazy!?!?) Two additional unique individuals. One of which has a definite strong will and stubborn streak (of course I have no clue where those personality traits came from) and the other who is just starting to show her own individual personality and desires. They are tiny humans, but they still want things done a certain way (their own way).

I am admitting that it is a struggle to balance everything. I want to be selfish. I want to do things and have things go my way. In fact most EVERY days I mess up pretty much all of what I am supposed to be in charge of. I cannot tell you how many times I have gone to bed feeling like a total and complete failure. I often feel like an inadequate wife, mother, sister, daughter, Christian, etc. The only thing that keeps me going is the reminder that it is not my job to do it all perfectly, or to even do it all. It is HIS. He sustains me (Psalm 3:4-6). It is hard to remember that in the midst of the chaos that is my life lately. In fact, there have been some days where I just flat out felt alone. Completely and utterly alone. I think how can this be so hard? Other people handle more than this. Other people are doing this (and/or more) so much better than me. Other people...those doubts and feelings of worthlessness are just lies from an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy everything good in my life (John 10:10).

The truth is I am an inadequate wife, mother, daughter, sister, Christian, etc. All on my own, I am inadequate (Romans 3:23). I am not now, nor will I ever be enough, but I do not have to be. I do not have to measure up to other people. I do not have to meet their standard of excellence. I just need to rely on God and be obedient with what has been tasked to me. His strength is what is going to get me through the day and He is omnipotent. Just be obedient and do the best with what has been given to me. (Easier said than done am I right?!?!)

I have to remind myself daily (every second of every day) that I am worthwhile and that I am not alone. I am a child of God. He has sealed me with his Holy Spirit who is interceding on my behalf (Romans 8:26, what a promise!). I, of course, also need daily reminding that I cannot do it alone. If He/life didn't remind me I would become a prideful mess.

No matter how good or terrible my day has been it always comes back to the basic truths. I am a sinner, my children are sinners, the enemy wants to trip us up and steal our joy, and life is messy, but God is good. God loves me (us, Psalms 136:1-3) and wants the best for me (us, Jeremiah 29:11), but that doesn't mean the best will be easy. I must "count it all joy" (James 1:2-4)because He is using this time in my life--these struggles--to perfect me and make me capable of bringing His kingdom glory.

So I am going to continue to soldier on. I am going to get down in the trenches of this motherhood thing and I am going to do my best. I hope that my good days will outnumber my bad days. I also hope that I will continue to push myself to write--even when I feel like the only things I have to write about are how horribly I failed that day--although I make no promises. If my blog is idle it's because I am busy battling. And in the end I will win my battle because I am not alone...even when it feels like it...I have a Strong Tower (Psalm 61:2-4), a Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), an Almighty God fighting on my behalf.